It was only the 4th day of the long vacation, but Xiao Ma was even more tired than going to the 7-day shift.
"I attended several weddings during the holiday and also experienced being a best man. I found that weddings are really tiring and costly, and there are many rules in my hometown. I don't want to have a wedding at all in the future." Xiao Ma, who is still a bachelor, exclaimed. .
“我在假期里参加了几次婚礼，也经历过成为一个伴郎的经历。我发现婚礼真的很累而且很昂贵，而且我的家乡有很多规定。我以后不想再举行婚礼了。 ”仍然是单身汉的小马惊呼。 。
Pony may not be the only young man who wants to abandon the tedious wedding ceremony.
In March this year, "cloud wedding" became a hot topic because of a wedding held on a live broadcast platform.
Although the emergence of "cloud weddings" is largely affected by the epidemic, many young people agree with this form.
Weibo netizen "Xiao Shen's mailbox" also started more "daydreams" about the cloud wedding: "After the e-cards were sent, everyone gave gifts on WeChat/Alipay, liked the photos/videos of the bride and groom's love, and waited. The courier boy knocked on the door and delivered the wedding candy..."
This Weibo has received a lot of praise and approval. No banquets, no master of ceremonies, no entertaining relatives who don’t know, this kind of weddings that don’t need to organize complicated ceremonies seem to be getting louder.
But in reality, young people don’t really value weddings anymore? How did the increasingly boring wedding come about?
"To entertain so many relatives you don't even know, what's the point of copying and pasting the same wedding process from a wedding company?" A small group of girls born in the 90s saw their friends in their hometown get married one by one, but were concerned about the wedding. Can't look forward to it.
She felt that "many weddings are simply embarrassing."
Xiaoqun’s thoughts reveal the real reasons why many young people are resisting contemporary wedding ceremonies.
The traditional wedding in the eyes of young people is essentially a large-scale formalist performance contest. This contest invited all kinds of audiences to witness the "highlight moments" of the bride and groom and both parents.
Only on the wedding day can you see the three aunts and six wives who hugged you once when you were a child, the bear children who competed in groups for stuffed toys, the master of ceremonies who told cold jokes and even silly jokes, and the most complicated social human relationship map...
But for such a large project, the control is often not in you. In this wedding that should be starring the bride and groom, you are only the more expensive box lunch among the extras.
In addition to listening to the rules of the older generation, and limited by time and energy, most of the process design can only be handed over to wedding companies on the market. Regardless of the city's wedding company, it seems that there is a set of unified wedding standard templates. What they can do is at best a wedding that does not go wrong.
What makes young people more unbearable is the strange marriage customs.
The wedding in the north will go to pick up the family in the early morning, and the south will hold the ceremony from early morning to late at night. The physical strength is as strong as Superman, and it is impossible to stand it. In some areas, vulgar behaviors such as making bridal chambers and making bridesmaids are full of physical discomfort. Knocking your elders one by one during marriage is also a routine operation in many villages.
Therefore, Liao Yunfei, born in the 90s who has just received his certificate this year, is not in a hurry to hold a wedding. He wants to talk to his family about his thoughts first.
"That kind of traditional wedding ceremony, I refuse. But the wedding is really not organized, and it is not possible. We may even want to plan the wedding according to our own ideas." Liao Yunfei thinks that he considers practical factors, a high probability There will still be a wedding, but in some aspects, the "cloud wedding" will be referred to and some compromise plans will be adopted.
Lightweight weddings has become a consensus among many people on social networks.
According to a survey on Weibo, about half of young people can get married without a wedding or travel. But have you discovered that in real life, not so many people around us choose not to have a wedding. Young people who are shouting not to have a wedding now have a high probability of having a wedding that will satisfy their parents.
We have also seen that one third of the netizens firmly stated that "it must be held, it must be known to the public and have a sense of ritual", and nearly 20% of netizens choose "it depends on the situation and if possible."
Mr. DT carefully studied the discussion about weddings on social platforms and found that for many young people, what they want to abandon is the red tape of traditional weddings, and the uncontrollability and formalism that they can only act as group performers. And not the wedding ceremony itself-many young people have truly memorable weddings they want.
"In fact, I also have ideal weddings in my mind, such as lawn weddings, island weddings...the kind that only invite some close relatives and friends." Xiaoqun told us.
In Xiaohongshu, the number of notes surrounding the wedding reached 1.54 million. Young people who keep talking about their weddings are boring and unconventional, but they leave typical examples of honesty on social platforms.
So, what kind of wedding do young people really want?
We collected the hot topics about weddings in Xiaohongshu and found that keywords such as "wedding planning", "wedding styling" and "wedding decoration" have the highest degree of discussion.
In addition, the details of the corners of the wedding have to be finely polished.
For example, "Wedding Follow-up", people split the 69 shots that must be taken at the wedding, and strive to perfectly record the entire wedding process.
"Wedding video" is the warm-up video of the opening ceremony of the wedding. Memories of the bride and groom are not enough. They have to be arranged and edited to be interesting, romantic and stunning. If it's just a carousel display of wedding photos, it may be enough to make a head change template.
The wedding is a large-scale party, and of course the excellent content and surrounding design cannot be left behind.
From the selection of wedding souvenirs, cakes, and dessert tables, to the design of wedding vows, invitations, wedding logos, the process of planning the wedding, and the fun-enhancing links, the division of labor is arranged for all personnel... No wonder some friends’ weddings are just planning Prepared for half a year.
Among the hot notes on weddings in the Xiaohongshu, the most discussed ideas include the newcomer’s appearance, all the excel files and information packages required for the wedding, the bride’s head-to-toe clothing and accessories sharing on the wedding day.
Compared with traditional weddings, the details and sense of ceremony to be organized for weddings organized by young people themselves are even better. A wedding is no less than a concert of stars.
A researcher interviewed the manager of the wedding banquet department of a hotel in Shanghai. This manager who has been engaged in the wedding industry for many years said that the new couple are most concerned about whether the wedding design is "spectacular", "novel or not". Just watch a wedding banquet. It's the same as a performance.
The importance of contemporary young people on weddings has also made weddings a showcase of the values and emotional experience of new couples, and has contributed to a large-scale experience economy with weddings as the core.
With the personalized requirements of young people for weddings, the products and services developed by the wedding industry are becoming more and more detailed. Different wedding styles and different standards of wedding planning are clearly marked, waiting for young people to pay for the sense of ceremony.
According to the survey data of "Research on the Evolution of Family Marriage Consumption in Chinese Urban Households: 1980-2010", from the 1980s to the 2010s, the penetration rate of video in marriage consumption items soared from 3% in the 1980s to 76% today. The penetration rate of short films increased from 1% to 48%.
In addition, wedding photos, wedding rings, etc. were not completely necessary items for marriage in the past, and the costs are constantly increasing.
According to survey data, wedding rings that cost tens of thousands of yuan now account for 12% of the total cost of marriage, compared with 8% in the 1980s. Wedding photos also accounted for 4% of marriage expenses from the 1980s to about 7% now.
In this way, many young people not only did not let go of the obsession of holding a wedding, but even paid more thoughts and costs than their parents and mothers, and were determined to make the wedding a milestone in their lives.
We try to explore the reasons why contemporary young people are getting more and more important in weddings.
At the beginning of the wedding, it was actually just a procedure to obtain social credit. In other words, before the marriage certificate is used to stipulate the legality of marriage, it is the wedding that makes the marriage legally effective.
Weddings are generally endowed with symbolic meanings such as love, eternity, and romance. In fact, they have only happened in recent decades.
With the improvement of material level and the prevalence of consumer culture, people pay more and more attention to the sense of ceremony displayed by weddings.
In the past, a wedding photo was a kind of record. Nowadays, a wedding photo has to be taken in several large books, and it has to be made into posters and display boards, which are projected on the wedding scene and placed at the entrance of the wedding banquet. The emergence of wedding follow-up and real-time filming projects is also due to people's demand for a complete record of the wedding ceremony and the ability to "show it out" at the first time.
Some communication researchers believe that the intervention of the lens has had a greater impact on modern wedding ceremonies.
The lens consumption in the wedding is actually a symbolic consumption, the identity behind the lens. The prevalence of lens consumption in weddings has also led to the rise of consumption of various wedding packaging details such as wedding scene layout, styling design, floral art and even wedding music.
The newlyweds show the beauty of love in the wedding lens, and also play the role of enthusiastic consumers in the wedding preparation process.
On the other hand, the display of individual emotions and sense of value is still inseparable from the traditional ritual framework.
Today's weddings have to carry the different concepts of two generations at the same time. Young people want to organize a wedding according to their own preferences and personalities, but they have to add the traditional elements of the family's long-awaited wedding. In addition, the wedding has to take on important tasks such as maintaining family social relations and collecting gifts.
Weddings kidnapped by various symbols and concepts naturally become more and more complicated.
People often say that the wedding is once in a lifetime, so how can it not be done more grandly.
The contemporary wedding is indeed grand enough, but when I think about it, does this ceremony become a carrier of good memories, or is it really just an embellishment of a large-scale ceremony performance?
When young people feel that the "wedding is meaningless" while choosing to make a big deal on their own, they may also be a little bit confused about whether they hate the complicated wedding process or their powerlessness in the complicated process.
Another National Day holiday, which is "it is suitable to get married". How many weddings did you attend? What kind of wedding do you want? Welcome to communicate with us in the message area.
Editing | A rice, small Tang
Zheng Shuya and Qi Zhen
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